Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I'm A Little Angry Today...

I'm going to admit, I'm feeling a lot of emotions today, but the one that keeps bubbling to the top is anger... not just because of Boston, there is a lot of other stuff going on right now. I need to let this out, so pardon me while I cleanse my emotions.

On Friday, I lost a co-worker. Out of repect for his family, I will not go into detaisl. However, coming to school was extremely difficult yesterday. A building of 1,000 students & staff were mourning the loss of a beloved teacher. The loss was senseless & could have been prevented. I'm angry that an amazing teacher is no longer with us.

Yesterday, I was tracking some of my favorite runners as they conquered the Boston Marathon. I had just checked to see if Katherine had finished yet, when a CNN alert popped up on my phone. My heart sank. All of the training and preparation that go into qualifying for Boston. A year ago, I never would have understtod that. Today, I understand that the people crossing that finish line had put years of training into that race... only to have it spoiled by hatred. I'm agry that someone would dull the sparkle of another's accomplishment.

As I worried about those I knew running, I also started stressing about my own upcoming race. It is being held in Washington D.C. The finish line is less than a mile from the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue. I'm praying that Nike is going to tighten security and that I will be safe. I'm angry that paranoia is distracting me from training and could dull the sparkle of my own big day.

Today, I woke up and drove to school to administer the New York State ELA Test. As a special education teacher, I have to sit and watch my students struggle through a test that is unfair to them. Many of my students read at a 3rd grade level, yet the passages they'll be reading are written for high school students. I'm angry that I'm helpless in this scenario. I have to do what the state tells me to;nothing less, nothing more.

Last night, I ran to ease my stress. I ran because I can. I ran because I will not let my anger defeat me. I will continue to train, just as I will continue to teach. I will continue to fight to make this world a better place... as we all should.


  1. I'm a teacher and runner as well. I feel your pain in both of these situations. I ran yesterday afternoon for the same reasons you did. At first it made me feel better, but by the end of the run I was walking with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Too much to bear.

  2. I am just finishing up my student teaching and have recently started running, so I know where you are coming from. I felt the weight of the world yesterday when I found out about Boston. I am angry and sad that my children will have to grow up in a world filled with so much hate. I am angry that we even have to worry about the possibility of something happening to us. I am praying so hard for my children and for our nation.

  3. I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this "stuff." I hope things come together. In the meantime, I hope you get some you time!

  4. Letting out the anger is something that needs to be done. You vent all you need.
    I am so sorry for your loss, and just know that all the other reasons you are angry are completely justified.


  5. Thanks for posting! Sometimes it is good to get those frustrations out! I feel similar in regard to running and the events in Boston. It was such a shock and so devasting. I am just beginning to train for the NYC Marathon this fall and I was truly at a loss yesterday. So unbelieveable for something like that to happen at such a positive event for so many people!


  6. I'm so sorry for the loss of your co-worker. I'm glad that you're able to get your anger out in a healthy way. Hugs your way, dear!

  7. Preach it, sister. I can feel all of your emotions here, and I can definitely relate to some of them. I am a teacher and our state test is next week. I hate watching the kids struggle and looking to me with questioning eyes that I can do nothing about. Thank you for sharing your true feelings here!